That title was just a little bit of link bait, please excuse us for that. Mom, dad and parent bloggers know that around our respective days we receive oodles of press releases about the perfect thing for “Father’s Day!” If I were to take those releases at face value I’d tell you that I need some fancy fruit, expensive shot glasses, BBQ sauce and a pair of running shoes to make my Father’s Day complete.
That’s cool if you’ve got a site that complies a list that would include those items, but Daddy Mojo isn’t like that and it should be fairly obvious. I’ve had a list of bothersome things brewing for a while and Father’s Day is the perfect time to share it. It’s possible that some of you share my annoyances on the bad list; if that’s the case then lets banish them all to a shallow island that will soon be taken over by the rising tides of global warming. We’ll all have a better Father’s Day if that were to happen.
The Good List
Sigur Ros and Royksopp to tour together
My ideal concert tour is Sigur Ros, Royksopp with Cheap Trick and Rush. ABBA would be nice, but having them reform would be next to impossible.
The Bad List
No more ‘just sayin’
When you write ‘just sayin’ it’s essentially a passive aggressive way of saying “Well, I disagree with you but I’ll do so in a smarmy way that doesn’t require an intelligent response from me.” It adds nothing to the conversation and proves that said person watched CNN too much in 2009 or just started commenting on the internet.
Stop the political games
The Democrats are all smelly, eco hippies and the Republicans are all rich bankers who want you to drink dirty water. What’s more, Romney ‘s wife wears shirts that cost upwards of $1,000 and Obama has golfed more than any other president in history.
Grrrr…base political stories like this do nothing to solve the problems that the U.S. is facing. If you vote for (or against) a candidate solely because of their stance on guns, drugs, gays, their color or religion then you’re a sheep. I don’t care how you vote, but do so in an informed way that looks past the lead stories and innuendo that you’ll discover in the media.
No more “Nazi’s”
If you refer to someone you disagree with as a Nazi it makes you look like a fool. While you most likely mean it as a joking metaphor, anything that makes light of the killing of millions of people is in poor taste. The only positive thing about someone calling others a ‘Nazi’ is that it regulates anything that person says as not credible so you know who to ignore in the future.
People wearing their pants below their waist
I had to fly the other week and my line through security was jammed up with this knucklehead whose pants were secured around his groin with a belt. He had to take the belt off to put it through the scanner. In doing so he also had to raise his hands, which caused his pants to fall, which were only caught by his knees, which he pushed out.
Kids these days. I know adults have been saying this for decades, but seeing entry level gene pool like this made my heart sink.
Knuckleheads on E!
Amount of redeeming content on E!=0. I’m all for the occasional brain candy and I don’t want to judge; but E! makes the programming on Spike TV look like mensa-esque in comparison.
People who don’t spay or neuter their pet
You can find a shelter near you that can do it for less than $50. Stop making excuses and do it already.
People who drive while talking or texting
If you drive and talk (without an earpiece) or worse yet, text while driving it’s highly probably that you engage in multiple infractions on this list. They sell earpieces for $10 and that text can wait, now go home and watch E! before you hurt someone.
That’s my curmudgeon worthy list of things that could appear or disappear in order to make my Father’s Day perfect. The odds on any of these happening are slim, but a dad can dream. Happy Father’s Day!!! If I missed any that should be banished to the slowly sinking island please let me know.