I’m getting old: The evolution of tool to a Dad

Getting older is natural and I love it.  I embrace aging and the strengths that it provides you-like advanced wisdom or the ability not to be carded for alcohol.  One barometer of aging that I didn’t realize would be a factor is the word “tool”.  Over the years “tool” has been a band, an adjective, a noun and lacey-frilly things that get wrapped around the house on special occasions.     

In the early 90’s Tool was a band.  They’re actually still a band and produce the same complex, well played heavy metal as they did back in the day.  I just don’t listen to them as much because I turn into my father yelling ‘turn that crap down before you give yourself a headache’.

Using tool as an adjective overlapped my time with Tool the Band.  He’s a “Tool” entered pop culture as a pejorative to describe overconfident guys.  For example, the guys of (soon to be cancelled) Jersey Shore are a bunch of tools.

In my garage I have lots of tools.  Personally, I love using the reciprocating saw the best.  Try to use a reciprocating saw and not imagine that you’re Luke Skywalker.  Tools aren’t toys, but using them sure can be fun, just mind the limbs, unless you’re trimming a tree.

Tulle, pronounced ‘tool’ is a see through material that went on the bottom of your wife’s wedding dress.  If you’ve been married a couple of years then tulle is wrapped around places in your home.  The crafty people also use tulle to wrap presents with.

To earn bonus points with the wife I went out to purchase tulle.  In front of me was a massive display of tulle, 5 feet high and 2 rows of tulle deep.  I shorlisted a couple designs of white tulle, some basic or with snowflakes, eventually finding the color and pattern that she’d be happy with.

Now we have tulle; just in time to roll the interior of our house so it looks like the front yard of a house with a popular teenager.

I posted on Facebook that “You know you really love your wife when you go tulle shopping for her”.    More than a couple people responded and it turns out that tulle is more common than I thought.  One sage person even gave me the heads up that if you download the Hobby Lobby app it gives you a 40% off coupon.

I should’ve known that a social media app would’ve saved some cash, paying too much would’ve made me feel like a tool.