Dad and Mom Go to the Baby Store

by Daddy Mojo on October 12, 2011

After the 39th week of pregnancy moms-to-be are ready to go to the hospital.  In some cases you’ll schedule the appointment and others will manically drive to The Women’s Center at your local hospital.  We learned a couple things from our most recent visit to The Women’s Center that might help some of the expectant dads.

Do not take your jewelry to the hospital

Moms, when you get prepped to go into surgery you’ll have to remove all of your jewelry.  When my wife gave me her rings and necklace I checked my pocket first to be certain there wasn’t a hole in my pocket.  Even when I was secure that there wasn’t a hole in my pocket I kept patting down the area, just to be certain.  It’s like an airplane ticket or passport, except your wife would never, and I mean never let you live down the fact that you lost all of her jewelry while she was giving birth.

Dads, if you wear gold chains you can wear them into the operating room.  Having said that, if you’re a guy and wear gold chains you should be thankful that you’re with a woman.  If the above description fits then you should also check the amount of cologne that you wear and be thankful that you’re with a woman.

Dads-have plenty of stories to distract your wife

When mom is getting prepped for surgery she’ll get more pricks than a Limp Bizkit concert.  Just like that concert they’ll come in various sizes and some of them won’t be too sharp.  Granted the needles aren’t on the same scale that Darth Vader had to undergo, but it’s no picnic.

It’s dad’s responsibility to hold moms hand and distract her from the pokes and pricks.  Tell mom stories that she’s never from your college days like the time you saw Limp Bizkit in concert while wearing too much cologne.

Any story will help mom push through the needles and get her to the operating room.  We shared stories of our travels in Europe and made short talk with the doctor who was giving the epidural.  Even a conversation with the people in the prep room will help relax your wife and make the time pass quicker.

Dads-take the camera, not your convenient smart phone

I know, your smart phone is so convenient and has a high resolution camera.  Your digital camera may not look as cool around your neck, but it will take far greater pictures.  This is not Disneyworld and you don’t come here often at all, get the best quality photos possible.

So that we could immediately post it to facebook and tweet out photos the moment after birth we took our smart phone also.

The Women’s Center or hospital where you’re going is like an inverted women’s only version of Thunderdome.  The obvious difference is that one woman enters and a woman and child will exit.  Thankfully seahorses aren’t the dominant class because men would be too cowardly to give birth and we’d all have a 7 year old boy as our master.


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