Babies | Page 21 of 22

Fashionistas in the suburbs

One of the unintended advantages of being a stay at home dad is not having to wear nice clothes in the daytime. The only folks that I’ll see are other moms, dads and retail workers. Sure you have to run errands stop by the library for story time and go on the occasional side trip, but that’s it. As long as I don’t’ wear clothing that’s ripped or has paint stains I’m all good.

Full disclosure: I’m no fashion plate. Most of my clothing has a retro feel, mainly because it consists of large collared shirts from the 70s, Continue reading Fashionistas in the suburbs

Baby Mojo’s first haircut

Baby Mojo was born with a head full of hair. Literally from the very first instant we saw him he had a dark brown patch of hair on his head that only got longer and lighter as he got older. At the very tender age of six months old his mother gave him his first haircut.

Around nine months old he was starting to look like a very young member of The Beatles or a background character in Fraggle Rock. I entertained the idea of Continue reading Baby Mojo’s first haircut

That sinking feeling

It’s that feeling in your stomach immediately after you pass a police officer who’s looking for speeders using that radar gun. Immediately you think, ‘Shoot, was I speeding, let me look in the rear view mirror to see if they’re moving….ugh, yup, they’re moving, lights on and coming this way’. Then, Continue reading That sinking feeling

My sons’ seahorse loves John McClane

Baby Mojo sized up in clothing recently and I was culling all of small stuff into a pile that is bound for the attic. While I was doing this I found a toy still in its packaging from when we received it at as a gift. It’s a seahorse looking creature that has a pulsing light and plays nursery rhymes or classical music when you push its belly.

I thought nothing of it until later that afternoon when we were upstairs and he was in the middle of a mini meltdown during a diaper change. The seahorse was the only thing within reach so I ripped off the packaging, placed it on his chest and pushed its’ belly to make the music start.

“Oh, cool, it’s playing the music from Die Hard “ I immediately thought. Continue reading My sons’ seahorse loves John McClane

Sonic Youth of my loins

Mom and I are excited because Baby Mojo has found his voice.

Unfortunately that is not a singing metaphor; rather our eight month old has discovered that he can talk. I’m all for talking; don’t get me wrong, but an eight month old talks at one volume: a very loud and punishing auditory dagger that would have Spinal Tap dialing it down from 11.

The screaming from our son usually happens when he’s being fed solid foods. The red in his face, packaged full of baby rage is all treble, no bass; which seems to make the shrieks hurt that much more.

Being a new stay at home dad I know that more challenging situations will arise. To deal me with the sonic assault coming from our son’s pie hole I’m faced with a couple options. Continue reading Sonic Youth of my loins

Are you pregnant?

Ladies, most men know never, and I mean never ask outright if you are pregnant. Having said that, lets detail a conversation I had at a popular big box store the other day.

I was in line to return some merchandise and there was one person in front of me who was about to finish when a second cashier walked up behind the counter. When I got to the counter I heard the following conversation.

Cashier #2 said to #1: Oh, if that happens again I’m going to go into premature labor right now.

Me: Without looking up at the woman I said, “Oh cool, you’re pregnant, when are you due?”

Cashier #2: “I”m not pregnant, do I look pregnant?”

Me: I looked up at this point, suspecting something was amiss. “I don’t know if you look pregnant or not. I’m just responding to your statement that you may give birth right here”

Cashier#2: “Oh, I can’t imagine having more than four children”

Cashier #1 to #2: “You’re not right”

Grrrr…..If it was a court of law I would claim entrapment.

Women always look like they’ve lost weight, are five years younger then we think they are and look skinny in that dress. Oh, and your hot friend really isn’t attractive at all or prettier than you, I was just looking at the car over there. Men know the answer to these questions without being asked.

Babygate and other conspiracies

Baby Mojo is right on the cusp of crawling so it’s time to safety proof the house and put up a baby gate near the stairs. Prior to being a daddy blogger I used to work for an animal shelter and had pets of my own. The great thing about baby gates is that they also keep pets out of some areas or off the stairs. We’ve had one up for a while to keep the dogs downstairs and learned a lesson or two that might help you.

There are the temporary gates that you have to remove or step over and stronger ones that allow you to open a door in the gate and step through it.

The temporary gates are usually cheaper and very easy to move between door frames . However these gates don’t allow you to step through them, so these would not be good if they are located near a highly trafficked area. If you’re putting this gate up in the kitchen or office for a little bit that is an excellent location and a relatively cheap fix.

As we have two dogs our option was a more secure gate that we could walk through. There are two options for this style of gate, one that is mounted to the wall and one that is not mounted, ie, no screw holes in your wall.

We’ve got a wall mounted baby gate that is secured into the wall.

Note the position when it’s closed and when it’s open. In the photo to the right, it’s open and there is not a bar that requires you have to step over it.

Most wall mounted gates that do not require you to drill holes in your wall come in a three peice set up and have a bar parallel to the floor when the gate is open. In theory this doesn’t sound like a big deal. However, having to step over a bar at the top, or bottom of your stairs is annoying at best and dangerous at worst.

We had the three piece, dangerous gate for a week or two. Then much to the chagrin of our walls, we exchanged it for the wall mounted version. However, the wall mounted baby gates are stronger, have a secure lock for the kids and are super easy to install.

Bottom line: If you’re getting a baby gate for stairs, don’t worry about your walls.

The darkside of children's music

The folks at Sesame Street have figured out how to auditize crack and they’re selling it on Sesame Street Platinum Too. It’s a disc full of songs that you remember from Sesame Street, as well as, a couple newer ones that will age very nicely.

Baby Mojo loves them-All of them. The songs are different from The Wheels on the Bus or other standards we may sing, because they’re like little musical skits. They tell stories, have characters that we remember or are just so darn catchy that we as parents can’t ignore them.

The darkside is that I find myself stuck on at least one of these songs every couple of days. That particular song will remain in my head all day and into the night. When I wake up to change Baby Mojo’s diaper at 3:00 AM, that song is still in my head like a sentinel waiting to wish me a good night.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TjX5r37V0Q]

What’s the Name of That Song is the one that was stuck in my head until a couple of days ago. It’s a great song. Ignore the fact that it’s a children’s song and it is still very rhythmic, funny and easy to listen to. That was the inadvertent soundtrack to my day for most of last week. I take a walk with Baby Mojo, change the diaper, prepare a bottle and it’s there. I suddenly find myself not thinking about the lyrics then the rhythm pops in my head!!

Until last Thursday. I woke up with the intent to not think about that song at all. I go into Baby Mojo’s room and put on the changing table and the first words out of my mouth were, “good morning starshine”.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl8O7NHkrPY]

Oh great. Now I’ve got this very catchy tune from Hair stuck in my head. Good Morning Starshine is an awesome song, however, with it comes the hippie visuals. The longhairs in the convertible going down the highway, traumatic hair shaving scene, clichéd war protests and a minuet of 60’s visions played during the bits that I could remember while singing to Baby Mojo. It was Berkley without that hippie smell going on inside my head.

Mommy Mojo and I have had this problem with songs getting stuck in our heads since Christmas.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOMmSbxB_Sg]

It all started with Santa Baby, because I care for you all I posted the original instead of the one done by Madonna. Everything we’d say regarding Baby Mojo was to the pace of Santa Baby. “Jakey Baby, lets take a bathy before it gets too late”, etc, see, even one line of it is annoying.

Now. Imagine. That. Being. Stuck. For. Four. Months.

We still find ourselves saying things to Baby Mojo to the pacing of that song. Sometimes we won’t do it for a couple of weeks, but then one of us will slip and bring that song front and center.

On the upside, any Sesame Street song is better than that. So what’s your worst song or longest case of something being stuck in your head? A warning, if you get your bad song stuck in my head I’ll send you videos of Santa Baby.