Death happens. It’s a scary, unknown thing that is an absolute final, unless you see a ghost, then that’s scarier. Kids have many questions about death and that can be frustrating because nobody really has the answers. Adults try to avoid the topic. Kids can become frustrated because they’ve had contact with it through a family member. Dying to Ask: 38 Questions From Kids About Death is exactly what its name entails and is so much more than you think it is. It accomplishes this through a combination of the questions, the illustrations that accompany each question, and the tone in which they’re answered.
Make a funny, yet respectful book about death that manages to treat each question with reverent intelligence. Yeah, you might not have asked for this either, but once you see it you’ll wonder how you explained death to kids before this. It’s all the more surprising because the answer some adults could’ve given when asked about death by a kid is “don’t know”, “who knows” or “it happens.”
Dying to Ask is very approachable. 38 questions run the gamut to all things death. Who will get to keep my video game console? Why do we have to die? Why do they dress the dead in white in India and Pakistan? Why do people find it uncomfortable to talk about death? Will I die? Some questions are on the face, rather silly or very specific, but are sill treated with respect. There is some reason why a kid wrote that question, and if one kid has there are countless others that have it too.
There’s an About this Book column at the beginning of Dying to Ask. This is written at the same level as its contents, on par with upper elementary, middle school audiences, and older. The paragraphs are short, double-spaced between one another, and most of the two-page spreads have an illustration somewhere. A giant grim reaper is running after a much smaller human girl who is asking, “Is there any way of escaping death?” Its subtle touches of humor that will keep in those readers who are adverse to reading anything non-fiction, much less about the end of our mortal journey, engaged in the book.
It explains that it’s ok to ask questions about death, addresses numerous pop culture references and has that potato chip or cat video test. You can turn to any of the 38 questions and be entertained. You’ll be entertained so much that you’ll turn the page, which has something that will pique your interest. It could be the illustration. The question might be so absurd that you just have to read the answer.
Why do people find it uncomfortable to talk about death? is a great example. The book’s answer channels every fear and thought that adults have about the subject. It reminds us that we’ll die one day. It reminds us of loved ones that we still miss. If we talk about death, then it’s more likely to visit us. Death is not The Candyman or a roof salesperson who’ll come knocking when you’re about to take a nap.
It happens. And the overwhelming takeaway from Dying to Ask is that it’s normal to think about, and to enjoy the day while you have it. Dying to Ask is unflinchingly honest and doesn’t turn off or scare readers when it does so. The book admits that some young children die, some folks die while they’re doing a hobby or having fun, and some kids are never even born. It’s a smart book that addresses euthanasia and countless other difficult, rarely spoken about situations. The fact that it’s so smart flies below the radar because the book is so friendly. Dying to Ask can be read in numerical order, randomly as you open the book or by thumbing through it and seeing which illustration catches your eye-and they will catch your eyes. The illustrations look simple, but operate on a sublimely funny level that belies their appearance. They might be ironic or just overly silly, but they grab your attention and drag you to the text which rewards the curious.
Dying to Ask: 38 Questions From Kids About Death is by Ellen Duthie and Anna Juan Cantavella, PH. D. with illustrations by Andrea Antinori and is available on Tra Publishing.
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