What’s the difference between high school math and Macbeth?   

The other day, during lunch I was on the school’s walking path with a math teacher.  A student asked them when was the last time they used the math they learned in high school. It’s a fair question. This person, an accredited math teacher with just a hint of irony in their voice, said, “The last time I used this math in the real world was in high school.”I’ve had some students posit the same type of question to me when we start reading Shakespeare. “Why are we reading Shakespeare? Nobody talks like this anymore.” That too is a fair question, and here is what I tell my momentarily frustrated ELA friends, an answer which also assists in the math conundrum my co-worker had.

Of course, the student they had was laying seeds of doubt for what they perceived to be a pointless activity. If this thing we’re doing now is not something that we’ll realistically do in the future, why are we even bothering to do it now? We’re not going to learn Morse code or how to train a carrier pigeon because there are more efficient ways to do things. Why do I need to write an essay on anything when I can just put the query into any chatbot bot and they’ll produce something that will do the trick within 30 seconds?

Easy there, McFly, we’ll delve into the AI quagmire later, let’s deal with one high school frustration at a time.

High school math and Macbeth have this in common: they both momentarily confuse you. To make things worse, your teen brain is used to having answers spoon-fed to you like an infant desperately needing to burp. If you don’t understand something and can’t find the answer by the time some puffy-haired jackwagon issues a brain-rot challenge on social media, you’re out.

You’re not used to being confused.

You’re not used to having one moment of silence.

You’re not used to solving your own problems.

High school math comes more easily for some than others. It was a dumpster fire train wreck for me in high school-and that was before any sort of Benadryl-Tide Pod challenge was trolling teens. I also didn’t seek help for my low scores. I just didn’t try. I would brag about the low scores I got to my friends as if the worst score got a prize. Now I tell my students who score low and brag about it that they do get a prize-under employment and lower pay then they otherwise would’ve gotten.

The math teacher I was walking with confirmed that very few, if any, students seek help from them during their office hours. Math is great because it’s one of the two universal languages that are 100% constant. If you’re not good at math, you have to try again because the correct answer can be found in a predictable manner via a pattern of steps.

Having said all of that, math can be more confusing to some than others.

Personally, I was like that with Macbeth, too. When I was a senior in high school I almost didn’t pass English Literature because I didn’t want to read Of Mice and Men. I could read it, but I was wicked lazy, a senior in high school and my burgeoning pea brain was more interested in short skirts than the dust bowl complexities of two farmers. But Macbeth, that was something I couldn’t even fathom in high school. Why are you speaking like that? Nobody speaks like that now? When do I leave my parent’s house and get my own crappy apartment that I can’t afford because I didn’t pay attention in middle school and now I’m underemployed? Yeah, these are the scenarios some high school students have running  through their hoodie-covered heads.

Now though, I love teaching Shakespeare. I love it because it confuses the students. I can see me, in front of me, albeit a couple of decades ago looking at the teacher as if they’re having a competition to see if they can be weirder than my parents. I explain to them that 400 years ago these plays were so well-known that people would crowd city centers to witness a performance. They were the high drama and farcical comedies that made the otherwise upper crust break a smile that would prove their humanity.

The language is outdated, that is true. However, the language is still English. In those instances where the word is archaic and been cast aside, it’s on the opposite page with a definition. You, the student, also have the option to purchase the No Fear version. This can be any work of Shakespeare and it’ll have the original version and a modern translation on the opposite page.

It’s not a foreign language, it’s simply an older version of English. In 400 years are people going to be saying “6-7” when they want to imply “nothing much”? Banquo sure had rizz when he was speaking to them witches. Macbeth seemed suss after dinner, I think he’s cappin about going straight to bed.

No. It’s just that Shakespeare, like math, is momentarily confusing. Your cell phone obsessed brain can’t handle not knowing how not to do something for a nanosecond. I believe that schools still teach these two potentially confusing and unfair things to high school students as a canary. Who among these students will be smart enough to pause for a moment after their given the material to think, re-think, re-position the content, and then attempt to understand it? It’s critical the lack of critical thinking today’s high school students are unaware of that they don’t have.

You, the brave high school student still (shockingly) engaged in this diatribe. Imagine yourself in any work situation, it could be your teen self now or future you in ten years.

You will not always encounter things that you understand or know what to do, so what will you do? Will you shut down and whine like a California grape? Or will you take a moment to process what you’ve just been given and try to find a solution?

I have great news for high school students. I’ve seen the future. Every employer out there is going to want the latter. In any employment situation, you will be expected to know certain things. However, confusion and not knowing what to do is part of life, accept it. You do not know everything and it is OK to ask questions. When you ask a question, you need to be prepared to accept any criticism. Did your way or the manner in which you approached have a flaw in its logic?  Sometimes, the person won’t know the answer and you just have to wait. Tom Petty sang a song about that being the hardest part.

 It’s malleability that employers are looking for. Can you be taught? Are you open to trying new things or new ways to do anything? Denizens of high school, I know you’re caught up in whatever challenge is temporarily monopolizing your attention. You want to be sporadic, surprising and unpredictable; you’ve been heard.

Do the thing that people think that you won’t do, which is think about something beyond now. As each school year goes by, the amount of care and ability that people can actively assist you with shrinks. Take advantage of this now because your plan B of becoming a Fortnite Twitch streamer is not a solid foundation.