Dads | Page 29 of 29

Babies, Aliens and Vanilla Ice-Everything is new

Today it was raining buckets, which was unfortunate for the dogs, Abby and Wilson, as they had to go outside and use the bathroom. They came tearing back inside, shook the water off them and went to lay on their pillows.

Baby Mojo found this hilarious and started to laugh that cute little baby laugh. He’s seen them come into the house before and I realized that he was laughing at their behavior when they get wet.

Everything is new to babies. It’s their first time seeing everything, so put on a good show, describe it well and enjoy yourself.

Many years ago I worked at The Disney MGM Studios as a tour guide and character actor on The Great Movie Ride. The Great Movie Ride is a slow-moving vehicle that goes through famous scenes of great movies. Interspersed along the ride are various audio animatronic figures and live actors. Sometimes I was a tour guide, other times a gangster. As a tour guide you’re the stranger in a strange land and the gangster ‘takes over’ the vehicle about half way through.

The tour guide starts, vehicle gets ‘hijacked’ by a gangster or cowboy and then the hijacker goes to an Egyptian tomb where the tour guide returns. That’s the set up and it always runs like that unless the tour guide or gangster are friends and want to shake it up a bit.

One day when I was a gangster I was feeling especially frisky, adding lines to mess with the tour guides, loosely chatting with the guests and so on. On one tour I got in the vehicle, did my opening spiel, looked back and saw Vanilla Ice.

It was back in the late 80’s, Ice was in his prime and had a couple Disney suits around him. Before the gangster and tour guide switch back again there is a line where they say, “oh, would you get a load of that chunk of that ice up there, now don’t none of you move…I don’t think they’d notice a couple of bodies around here.”

I said, “Oh, would you get a load of that chunk of Ice, Ice Baby up there…” I won’t win any awards for creativity with that, but I knew the tour guide would get a kick out of it and it made my day go by with a smile. Walt Disney World is excellent at the guest experience and making certain that their employees know that it’s always somebody’s first time to the park.

It was just like Baby Mojo and his first time seeing a wet dog. After a couple of times the wet dogs may not be as funny to him, but for the first couple times, that and so much more will be totally new and unique to him. He’s truly a blank slate that relies totally on me to entertain him, show him what to do and what is special about the little things.

After a while, the tourists and questions like “what time is the 3:00 parade?” (yes dozens of people every day really ask that), start to pile and I had to leave the Mouse. By the end of it I had spent two years yelling at tourists, making fun of bad clothing and waving a gun at aliens.

I still have good friends that work there, they truly love their job and I’ll be hitting them up for free tickets when The Mojos visit.

Nostalgic stroller envy

The other week I was at Jungle Joe’s chatting with a stay at home dad. He said that his wife had a case of stroller envy. “Stroller envy, what do you mean”, I asked.

“Well, we have the one stroller, but now she wants a jogging stroller, as well as, an umbrella stroller, whatever that is”, he said. Suddenly it was as if my subconscious had manifested itself in physical form and was confronting me with feelings I was having too.

Internally my Id and Superego were laughing at me, 1. For being in a Jungle Joe’s… and loving it and 2. For understanding exactly what his wife was talking about.

When we were initially shopping for strollers I had no clue about what strollers were good for what purpose. In this case strollers are kind of like shoes, you need a couple different ones for where you’re going.

The Stroller travel system

That’s the bigger one on the left and has a baby carrier that snaps in and out. The baby carrier also pops into the base that will be secured in your back seat. The downside to this system is that the baby carrier can get heavy and the stroller isn’t really responsive if you’ll be jogging or walking quickly. However, the upsides far outweigh any negatives as it’s comfortable, folds flat, has loads of storage and has a shield to cover your Baby Mojo from the sun.

The Umbrella stroller

I was slow to embrace the umbrella stroller but am a big fan now. It’s very lightweight and folds up to the size of an umbrella. This is the great stroller that you’ll use when running a couple of errands or when you need to calm your little Mojo down with a couple of laps around the house. The down side is that your child has to be able to hold their head up, so it can’t be used immediately for infants, and it’s ride is a bit rougher than the bigger strollers. It also doesn’t have the shield to protect against the sun or have any storage space, but it’s the difference between a pair of dress shoes and hiking boots.

Those two strollers are the ones that occupy the Mojo garage for babies. Personally I would love to have one of those three-wheeled strollers with the inflatable tires. They look cool, you can jog in the them and they’re comfortable.

The Green Machine, circa 1975 — The new Green Machine looks the same

They also have the added visual impact of making your child look like they’re in Tron or driving their own Green Machine. Oh, I loved my Green Machine and was totally shocked to see that Huffy is still making them. Huffy, there’s a brand that I haven’t uttered since I was a child. It’s one of those brands that are almost exclusively regulated to children and parents. Since they don’t make Green Machines that are marketed to parents I guess I’ll be familiar with them for the next 14 years at least.

Back to strollers. You need more than one, plan on it and start scouring the yard sales now as these are great items to purchase used or from a consignment store. I know that we’ll be on the yard sale looking for a jogging stroller. If you have one that you’re selling for about $40 please let Daddy Mojo know, otherwise good hunting!

Earth Day 2010

It’s a day just for the earth and most of the activities are family friendly!

One of the biggest and most entertaining activities is the Earth Day Kids Fest at Chattahoochee Nature Center on April 17 from 10-3. They’ll have live animals there, loads of activities and games, canoe trips on the lake, gardening exhibitions and meet Captain Planet. This event is sponsored by Captain Planet Foundation and Chattahoochee Nature Center, you can find all the details at www.captainplanetfoundation.org.

There are loads of recycling events also around town in Decatur, Oakhurst, Atlantic Station and Buckhead. Atlanta Intown has a nice list of them here.

Whose day is it anyway?

I know that men aren’t supposed to use ‘sweet’ unless you’re talking about food, but the other day Mommy Mojo came home and said the sweetest thing.

“I just can’t thank you enough for staying home with our son, I know it’s difficult, you put your career on hold and it really means so much to us” And suddenly I was in the middle of a Lifetime movie and the only thing missing was a walk in cameo from Meredith Baxter Birney.

I jest, but it really was a sweet comment that I needed after an especially hard day of baby tantrums. It also helped remind me of how well the arrangement between us works.

During the week, I do most of the things relating to Baby Mojo. Mom may help feed him in morning, or mercifully, help him get dressed, but that’s it. During the weekend Mom has most of the work and I’ll hop in when needed.

Most of the parents around us don’t seem to break up the baby duties along daily lines. For us, it’s a lifesaver: Mom gets loads of quality time on Saturday & Sunday, I can relax, listen to my 70’s Soft Rock Pandora stationhttp://bit.ly/56aY61 (it rocks, in a mellow 70s way and is great for all Dads) or go for a bike ride.

The weekend off helps me get my Mojo back, gives Mom her maternal Mojo and starts Monday off on the right foot for a good week of parenting.

That’s one of the unexpected things about being a dad, I think I’ve learned to share more. My procrastination has also gotten a little better, partially because of the fact that my new 18 pound client won’t take “no” for an answer.

Five little monkeys

One little monkey, sitting on a sign... — Does this sandwich I'm eating make me look fat?

While I was teaching ESL I was a master of children’s songs. Itsy Bitsy, How’s the Weather-all of them I could bust out at a moment’s notice when the crowd started to get fussy.

One of the classics I discovered was Five Little Monkeys. No doubt you parents know this song, but if you don’t it can certainly calm down one irritable toddler. In a classroom setting this song is great because it’s active, the children can yell, jump and move around.

The other day little Jake, all 18 pounds of him was in a tizzy. A full blown, teething mess of baby that could not be quelled by any of the usual tricks. The Wheels on the Bus were just coming off and I reached into my pocket and started Five Little Monkeys.

Immediately we had success! The red faced, 10 octave, screamapiller had been replaced by the baby who can make any parent melt.

All was good and well, baby meltdown averted (or at least curtailed) and we were clear to proceed to bedtime. My parenting genius affirmed and thankful for my mad rhyming ability I sauntered downstairs to relax.

Come the next morning I get out of bed and notice a newfound tenderness to my groin. In my zeal to maintain the monkeys jumping, i.e., me lifting up the baby and bringing him down on my lap; I realized that I may have been a bit too forceful in his descent.

While there weren’t any baby sized foot prints or bruises on my lower stomach, thighs or groin; I immediately knew that his teeny, tiny feet had pounced one too many times in a geographically sensitive area.

The lesson for this Stay At Home Dad: Be gentle when singing Five Little Monkeys if you want to have any more little monkeys.

Also, get familiar yourself with a greater variety of children’s songs-I’m a Little Teapot, Itsy Bitsy, etc. We still do Five Little Monkey, just a bit slower, with his feet touching the sofa or ground, instead of dad.