Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker, the (Palpatine) Emperor has no clothes

When The Last Jedi came out I was reluctant to criticize it because the one before it was so entertaining. It had some built-in good will that made it relatively critic proof initially. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker doesn’t arrive in movie theaters with that luxury. That’s unfortunate because the movie tries very hard to succeed. It jams so much content, loose plot stories and guest stars from previous films that the final third of the film feels like a talk show saying goodbye as previous guests walk on screen.  

I want to love you, but your script doesn’t make that a logical decision

Jumanji: The Next Level review

When Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle came out audiences weren’t expecting anything. The internet was more abuzz about how the film couldn’t live up to Robin Williams’ performance and why Karen Gillan’s character was wearing a crop top. That film blew any low expectations away and was a manic blend of action and humor.  Jumanji: The Next Level doesn’t achieve an Empire Strikes Back, but it doesn’t entirely drop the video game ball either.

Jumanji: The Next Level, you want to love it, but in the end it’s just OK

Frozen II, it’s not entirely a girl’s movie

Frozen makes me sick. Literally, in 2013 when I was supposed to go see Frozen I got sick. On the way to see Frozen II I had to pull the car over and have my wife drive the kids to the movie theater while I went home and got sick. The other week our eldest came into the office and asked me, “Is Frozen II a girl’s movie?” I told him no, there might be things in that film, as well as, the first one that appeals more to girls, but it’s not a girl’s movie. He went back and forth about wanting to see it until everyone was fully jazzed to see it, but the Frozen curse struck me down.

Frozen II, according to our 10 YO, it’s not just for girls

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, an empty movie protected by Kevlar

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil has a moment late in the film where it almost redeems itself. It’s a hook that, had left it would in place would’ve made for a more satisfying film. Alas, a couple of minutes after the twist it resumes its jumbled, bloated course. Mistress of Evil feels like the seedling of a Disney princess film, but then forces in some Lord of the Rings action and end battle sequence that’s looking for an Avenger. Our 8 year-old, who is able to sit through two-hour films, was squirming 45 minutes into this one and it only got worse (for all of us).

Maleficent, Mistress of Evil doesn’t cook up anything evil or entertaining

The Addams Family is strictly for the elementary aged set

The theme song to The Addams Family is very catchy. The song is so endearing that our 8 year-old, despite having never seen any of the movies or the show was walking around the house humming the first couple of bars. Unfortunately for anyone over 11 years-old the Addams Family (2019) is a stiff, lifeless affair-and not in the way that it could’ve been for a children’s movie. At the end of the day, the biggest winner in The Addams Family (2019) is Snoop Dogg and not just because he has the least amount of time on screen; more on that in a moment.

The Addams Family is easily one of the most disappointing films this year. It’s intellectual property masquerading as family entertainment.
More of a warning than a review, this film makes the undead smell good

Joker is real, brutal and the DCU through an indie film lens

In a parallel universe Joker is an indie film that was shot in the backwoods of Norway. The film is a serious approach to mental illness, gorgeously shot, with a bleak and powerful soundtrack that matches its visuals. It’s also masterfully acted and doesn’t pull any punches. The art house crowd loves every minute of the film and singing its praises. While the mainstream audience is appreciating the film, but it’s not breaking records. Joker is like that description, for the most part, except in reverse.

Joker is a drama for those 18 and up. It fully presents itself as a story in which we’re watching a mentally troubled character whose life is one step away from imploding. Arthur Fleck is bullied, beaten up, delusional and suffers from a form of Tourette Syndrome that causes him to laugh at inappropriate times. The film paints a world that we wouldn’t knowingly want to live in, yet also mirrors the one that we currently live in.

Joker is an amazing film. Each shot is done with love and craft. It’s also a brutal testament to mental illness and the need for treatment.
Joker is amazing. It’s a violent, real, art house super hero film, minus the super hero

Aliens, lovies and Men In Black: International arrive on Blu-Ray DVD

We have a child that absolutely goes mental over lovies. These are the stuffed animals that populate a child’s room, they can be an alligator, bear, character from a movie or a stuffed thing that he won from a claw machine, but they all have the same name: Lovey. If you’ve seen Men In Black: International there’s a cute scene where an alien hides amongst some lovies. That film is available on Blu-Ray DVD now and they’ve partnered with Budsies to remind people that anything in a child’s imagination can be a lovey.

Men In Black: International is available on Blu-Ray DVD. The aliens are awesome and they compete with what a 7 year-old can create in their mind.
Men IN black: International is out on blu-ray dvd, monsters, aliens and lovies galore

Spider-Man: Far From Home, stumbles a little, but nobody will mind

The MCU film that I compared Spider-Man: Far From Home when I left the theater was Iron Man 3-and not for good reasons. Elements of the film have the same bait and switch trick that the later had and I wasn’t a fan. However, since that film we’ve had almost two dozen entries into the MCU, a mythos has been created, fandoms built and a series of movie juggernauts launched. We’ve also had three really entertaining Spider-Man films in three years and that’s a great thing.

By now the history of Spider-Man and his MCU lineage is established. The snap occurred, was undone, albeit with some casualties and life has pressed on. What Spider-Man: Far From Home gets 100% down correctly (in an entertaining fashion) is how the snap impacted everyone involved. Some of Peter Parker’s contemporaries return as young adults who were nerdy, but now are the prettiest ones at school.  Tributes to Iron Man are all over town and the rumor mill is a buzz as to who will helm The Avengers.

Spider-Man: Far From Home is great for ages 9 and up. For MCU fans, it’s just above average, but leaves you with a smile.

Factor all of this on top of the fact that Peter Parker’s class is taking a trip to Europe. He’s trying to be a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, has a crush on a girl, wants to hang out with his best friend and isn’t sure about his status in the superhero world that’s suddenly gotten weird.

A weird superhero film that focuses on the human elements of superhero lives calls for a heel that’s not typical; and here enters Mysterio, AKA, Quentin Beck. The snap comes into play to an extent as alternate Earths and their terrestrial based heroes are referenced. It tore a hole through dimensions which caused other people’s bad guys to come over to ours. Don’t think about things too hard in the film or you’ll see plot holes, but that’s part of the fun about the film.

It gleefully pokes fun at aspects of the snap while referencing other heroes that might seem more mature or well suited for this adventure. The film also lets the secret identity spider out of the bottle on more than one instance. Holy Michael Keaton Batman, suddenly MJ is Kim Bassinger as Vicki Vale.

Spider-Man: Far From Home is almost as much of a teen romance, as it is a superhero movie. There are some nice comedic elements and two great credit sequences that fans of the MCU need to see. One of them clears up a couple plot holes and the other one sees the MCU looking down the rabbit hole.

There are periods in the film where it gets a bit too big for its britches. One sequence with Mysterio is a bit long, the road trip element could’ve used a haircut here and there also. 15 minutes shorter and the film would’ve been a guilt-free summer popcorn flick. It’s longer than ideal run time doesn’t spoil the film, it just feels padded at times.

Having said that, it’s a fun film that ages 9 and up will clamor to see and will be the talk of the playground. It also cements Spider-Man as the youngest superhero that is OK for younger fans. Granted Spider-Man is high school, but some of the content might not be fine for most elementary viewers. The length of the film, combined with some language and mild adult situations will be too much or bore those kids 8 or younger.

Our 9 year-old loved the film and immediately asked when the next one would come out. As a fan of most films in the MCU, we liked it too, although not as much as Captain Marvel or some of the recent entries. It’s just barely above average, and that’s OK for a nice summer romp.

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