Category: Family

 While I was teaching ESL I was a master of children’s songs.  Itsy Bitsy, How’s the Weather-all of them I could bust out at a moment’s notice when the crowd started to get fussy.   

One of the classics I discovered was Five Little Monkeys.  No doubt you parents know this song, but if you don’t it can certainly calm down one irritable toddler.  In a classroom setting this song is great because it’s active, the children can yell, jump and move around.     

The other day little Jake, all 18 pounds of him was in a tizzy.  A full blown, teething mess of baby that could not be quelled by any of the usual tricks.  The Wheels on the Bus were just coming off and I reached into my pocket and started Five Little Monkeys.   

 Immediately we had success!  The red faced, 10 octave, screamapiller had been replaced by the baby who can make any parent melt.     

All was good and well, baby meltdown averted (or at least curtailed) and we were clear to proceed to bedtime.   My parenting genius affirmed and thankful for my mad rhyming ability I sauntered downstairs to relax.  

Come the next morning I get out of bed and notice a newfound tenderness to my groin.   In my zeal to maintain the monkeys jumping, i.e., me lifting up the baby and bringing him down on my lap; I realized that I may have been a bit too forceful in his descent.   

While there weren’t any baby sized foot prints or bruises on my lower stomach, thighs or groin; I immediately knew that his teeny, tiny feet had pounced one too many times in a geographically sensitive area.   

The lesson for this Stay At Home Dad:  Be gentle when singing Five Little Monkeys if you want to have any more little monkeys.   

Also, get familiar yourself with a greater variety of children’s songs-I’m a Little Teapot, Itsy Bitsy, etc.   We still do Five Little Monkey, just a bit slower, with his feet touching the sofa or ground, instead of dad.